wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
