Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Shame is for Republicans.
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