my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
