she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize