I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
