put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
