highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
