I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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