Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
MIDGETS
????
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
