sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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