no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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