hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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