So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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