just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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