The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
