Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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