guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize