a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize