Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
