Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
May the power of my ass compel you!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
