Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
