It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
