And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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