I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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