I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
