I feel great
I just peed on a car
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
