I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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