he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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