would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
