just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
