You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
