Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
