you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
