HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
