I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
