Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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