Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
