Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
