i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
