She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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