Everything about him screamed your future.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
