so explain again why im purple
no
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
