What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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