i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
