I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
