why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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