There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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