i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
