What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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