Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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