You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
