You're my little dorito
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
