the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
