I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
