I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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