Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize