Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
