would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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