I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
